Tears are prickling my eyes, I'm biting the inside of my cheek and I want to cry with frustration.
We've had constant battles with the Little Lion, food and allergies. It started off with him looking sickly, suffering from constant ear infections, having allergy shiners around the eyes and mild eczema, but as he's growing older it's seems to be getting worse, not better. The past couple of weeks in particular have been hell with the chronic eczema and scratching until he bleeds, the tears through the night and red welts and rashes covering his body.
We've tried to be as careful as possible by sticking to a gluten, dairy, egg and peanut free diet but so many little things are creeping in that he's becoming sensitive to. It's a minefield. The cake I made for his birthday? Gluten, egg and dairy free... but within five minutes he was covered in red welts from the food colouring. Scratch that off the list. Reacting to his clothes? Cross the new laundry powder off the list, revert to Earth Choice and rewash everything. In the bath? Remove all our products and replace with products which are friendly to sensitive skin and contains no chemicals, which really isn't a bad thing. Read all the labels. Second guess every food. Hesitate before applying anything on him.
I'm tired. I want to cry when I see his skin ravaged with scars, welts and the texture of sandpaper. I hate that he hurts- that he wakes in tears and sobs in frustration when the itching isn't soothed. I've had to revert back to a steroid cream and Claratyne to try and keep it at bay for now, which I also hate.
He was allergy tested when he was two years old, and we've made the decision to go back to the specialist in desperation to try and gain some more answers. It's frustrating, heartbreaking and infuriating and also a long slow painful process to eliminate all the triggers.
I'm sorry. I try to keep this place upbeat and positive.. but tonight I've slipped and I have a few tears of frustration for my baby. If I could swap with him, I'd do it in a heartbeat.