Sometime over the past week, I'm misplaced my mojo.
Each step feels like my feet are encased in concrete boots, and the air is filled thick with custard. I feel all sorts of grey, flat and as energetic as wholemeal bread. Simple tasks such as bringing the washing in or going out to the mailbox seem arduous and I'm taking longer than normal to complete things I would whip through in a second. It's like someone has shot me with a tranquilizer dart. Today I napped on the couch three times as I couldn't keep my eyes awake. I feel weary.
On Anzac day I made myself go for a run to try and snap myself out of it. A few weeks ago I was exhilarated reaching 11kms, and after the last two disastrous attempts I felt a prickling of fear and suddenly it all became too hard. Where has my strength and positive energy gone? Why am I so sapped? Last week I struggled to make 7km, and my breath became short and ragged as I tried to get back into the zone. Nothing worked.
The weather has a huge effect on me. After sunshine cornflour skies and comforting warmth, a cold snap has settled in and the grey skies are battling me for pole position in the sombre stakes. Running the first two kms wasn't pleasant, and despite my full length tights and headband covering my ears I still ached. I needed to banish my demons, and couldn't let it beat me three weeks in a row. That may have undone me. I finished a respectable eight kms, then sat down in the shower for ages, unable to move.
I'm trying so hard to keep on top of things, but I feel like I'm slipping. I can't get enough sleep, and I'm battling to refrain from indulging in comfort food. We've had to make a lot of life decisions in the past two weeks, and I'm feeling a little mentally drained.
I need to find my mojo. I need it back, and fast. I'm not particularly thrilled with this version of myself. I feel like even my writing has gone to hell.
God, and it's not even Winter yet. Help.
Any one have any advice they want to throw at me?