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Sometime over the past week, I'm misplaced my mojo.
Each step feels like my feet are encased in concrete boots, and the air is filled thick with custard. I feel all sorts of grey, flat and as energetic as wholemeal bread. Simple tasks such as bringing the washing in or going out to the mailbox seem arduous and I'm taking longer than normal to complete things I would whip through in a second. It's like someone has shot me with a tranquilizer dart. Today I napped on the couch three times as I couldn't keep my eyes awake. I feel weary.
On Anzac day I made myself go for a run to try and snap myself out of it. A few weeks ago I was exhilarated reaching 11kms, and after the last two disastrous attempts I felt a prickling of fear and suddenly it all became too hard. Where has my strength and positive energy gone? Why am I so sapped? Last week I struggled to make 7km, and my breath became short and ragged as I tried to get back into the zone. Nothing worked.
The weather has a huge effect on me. After sunshine cornflour skies and comforting warmth, a cold snap has settled in and the grey skies are battling me for pole position in the sombre stakes. Running the first two kms wasn't pleasant, and despite my full length tights and headband covering my ears I still ached. I needed to banish my demons, and couldn't let it beat me three weeks in a row. That may have undone me. I finished a respectable eight kms, then sat down in the shower for ages, unable to move.
I'm trying so hard to keep on top of things, but I feel like I'm slipping. I can't get enough sleep, and I'm battling to refrain from indulging in comfort food. We've had to make a lot of life decisions in the past two weeks, and I'm feeling a little mentally drained.
I need to find my mojo. I need it back, and fast. I'm not particularly thrilled with this version of myself. I feel like even my writing has gone to hell.
God, and it's not even Winter yet. Help.
Any one have any advice they want to throw at me?
yup. stop.
ReplyDeletestop overthinking it.
stop setting yourself a goal of how far to run. running 1km is better than sitting on your butt at home, is it not?
stop thinking about not getting enough sleep - just lay your head down and quieten your mind.
stop thinking about eating comfort food, instead eat some, fill the need and then move on.
most importantly, just stop and be. in the moment, in the minute, the second - focus. breath.
when your body AND your mind is ready, you'll tackle everything with gusto again but right now, just stop.
~x~
Our bodies are like the seasons. Embrace them. Use your head to control the junk food impulse, unless it's a little nibble on toblerone. Otherwise, listen to your body- it's very wise, it doesn't lie. It's having it's own little winter at the moment because it knows that's what it needs. Be proud of and peased with what you can do. Those life decisions are exhausting. Be kind to yourself xx
ReplyDeleteDon't muck around. Go to your GP and tell him/her about it. Seriously.
ReplyDeleteThanks Rach. My head's been a bit of a whirlwind lately and I just need to take some time out to breathe. Lots of decisions and emotional stuff and I got a bit lost. I'll be chilling out all this weekend then hitting it hard again next week. Thanks again gorgeous xx
ReplyDeleteI am. Hoping the whole tired phase will disappear soon. If I continue to eat right and push myself to keep exercising a little every day then it should help. Love you xx (I'm assuming this is you mum, if not, sorry Kerry :P)
ReplyDeleteThanks Wendy. I think it's just emotional and mental stress that's wearing me down at the moment. I've had glandular fever before, and sometimes it can pop its head back up. I'll go if it continues this week. xx
ReplyDeleteRhi You are an amazing gorgeous, wonderfully gifted person whom we all love,many times we will have "loss of Mojo" these are times of testing just look at your "Little Lion" and there you will see your special reason for being. In time you will look back and realise this was one one your "strengthening and growth periods"
ReplyDelete